BOOKS

What books have been helpful for you?

When my husband died suddenly, I didn't know what to expect from the journey of grief, other than terrible sadness. Now that my mind has cleared enough for me to read, I have found grief books to be helpful in explaining what I am experiencing. Here are the books I have read so far:

• Good Grief: A Faith-Based Guide to Understanding and Healing, Granger E. Westberg. This is the book I started with because it is short. It does a good job of explaining different stages of grief and the emotions that go with them. It is written from a religious perspective, but not a specifically Mormon one.
  
• Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World: Seven Choices, Elizabeth Neeld. This is the book that I most highly recommend. It is longer, and I am actually not yet done with it, but it is really well written. It provides a map for working through grief. I really like all the passages contributed by various widows and widowers. The author's husband died suddenly while out jogging.
  
• When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Harold Kushner. This book is relatively short. It explains that it is perfectly normal to question the nature of God when our loved ones die. It explains, in a sensitive way, that we are subject to natural law and that God, for the most part, allows natural law to run its course. This book changed the way I think about prayer. The author, a Rabbi, had a son die of a degenerative disease.
  
• A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis. This book is also short, but I don't recommend it. It is a jumble of notes that c.s. lewis wrote while grieving the death of his wife. While there were passages that I strongly identified with, it was ultimately hard to follow with my already confused brain.
• Embraced By the Light, Betty J. Eadie. Eadie shares her experience of dying and regaining life while in the hospital. I really liked this book. It helped me feel the reality of the next life. It presents important principles of love and learning.
• Caring Connections: A Hope and Comfort in Grief Program. This book was actually a class manual for a grief support group run by the University of Utah. It is very good at explaining the stages of grief as well as outlining some coping skills. The website for the program (8 weeks, $50) is http://www.nurs.utah.edu/caringconnections/ They also have a really good online newsletter available from the website.

• Embraced By the Light,
  
  Ultimately, the books I have read have been useful in validating my extreme emotions and unusual behaviors. It is comforting to read that what I am experiencing is normal for anyone in these circumstances. I wish all of my acquaintances would read these books so that they could better relate to my situation.
  
  If you have any books you would like to recommend to other widows and widowers, please respond to this post. Please include the author, title, and a brief description of the book and/or an explanation of why you like it. Please also include your first name and the city/state where you live. Thank you for contributing.