SUGGESTIONS

If you have any comments or suggestions for this site, please respond to this post. Thanks.

POETRY

"During difficult times, poetry can let you know that others have been through and made sense of a similar experience. By writing poetry, you can give voice to your own unique experience." Dr. Andrew Weil.
If you have a poem, perhaps one that you have written, that expresses aspects of grief or healing, please share it by responding to this post. Please include your first name and the city/state where you live. Thank you for contributing.

• "What is this thing that men call death, This quiet passing in the night? 'Tis not the end, but genesis, Of better worlds and greater light. O God, touch Thou my aching heart, And calm my troubled, haunting fears. Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure, Give strength and peace beyond my tears. There is no death, but only change, With recompense for victory won; The gift of Him who loved all men, The son of God, the Holy One." Gordon B. Hinckley
• alone in the darkness my heart/ beats out its painful cry/ miss you/ miss you/ miss you

SERVICES

If you know of a useful service, please respond to this post. Thank you for contributing.

• CBW Productions. If you have a voice message or voice mailbox greeting of your spouse saved in a phone, this company will transfer it to a CD or digital file for you. It cost me $20 to record four messages onto a CD. www.cbwproductions.com, 1-800-770-8046.
• The Multimedia Centers. This place will make copies of family DVDs. The staff is very friendly and knowledgeable. 2715 East 3300 South, SLC, Utah 84109, (801) 521-8232.

TALKS

What church talks have you found helpful?


If you have a talk that helped you, please respond to this post. Please include the title and the speaker, as well as why you liked the talk/found it helpful. Please include your first name and the city/state where you live. Thank you for contributing.

• Death and Resurrection: Gifts from a Loving Heavenly Father, Donald W. Parry, BYU Education Week 2005. I liked this talk because it included a lot of information on death and the spirit world. It also includes some experiences some early saints had with either seeing the spirit world or being visited by someone from there. I guess this talk just gave some reassurance that my husband is alive and active and aware of me and our child. The talk is available at http://www.byubroadcasting.org/


• Favor Has Been Released Into Your Future (#363), Joel Osteen. I don't know what church this minister is affiliated with, but I really like him. He is a talented motivational speaker. Part of this sermon talks about the widow Ruth and how when she was scraping grain off the ground to survive, she could not see the good things that the Lord had in store for her future. Available at http://www.joelosteen.com/.


• Lessons on Healing, Elaine S. Marshall. I thought this talk made good, thoughtful points about healing. The main headings are (1) Healing Hurts, (2) Healing is Active, (3) Healing is Private, (4) Healing Teaches Us, (5) We Must Help Others Heal, and (6) Healing is a Divine Gife. Available at www.lds.org.
• Dark Friday, Bright Sunday, Joseph Wirthlin. This is a testimony of the resurrection and our eventual reunion with those we love. Available at www.lds.org.
  

MEMORIAL ACTIVITIES

What are some things you have done to help remember and honor your spouse?

My grief books all say that finding meaningful ways to remember and honor our loved one will encourage healing. If you would like to share a memorial activity that has helped you, please respond to this post. Please include your first name and the city/state where you live. Thank you for contributing.

• Photobook. Mypublisher.com makes it really easy to create a high quality photo book. I made a list of my husband's good qualities and accomplishments and then gathered relevant photos. For example, the "athlete" page has photos of him biking, climbing, diving, etc. The "daddy" page has pictures of him with our baby.
• Celebration Forest. My husband and I both love trees, so I felt it would be meaningful to plant a tree in his name. Celebration Forest lets you select a tree to be planted on their land in Idaho. Your tree has a specific number and location so you can go visit it if you would like. More information can be found at http://www.celebrationforest.com/.
• Memorial Blog. A friend created a blog for me that friends and former classmates can go to and post memories they have of my husband. This will be especially valuable for our daughter, who was only a few weeks old when my husband died.

SCRIPTURES

What scriptures have you found helpful?

If you have any scriptures that you would like to share, please respond to this post. Please include a brief statement of what the scripture means to you, as well as your first name and the city/state where you live, Thank you for contributing.

• "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath annointed me . . . [t]o appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning . . . ." Isaiah 61:3. All the hopes, plans, and dreams I had for the future have turned to ashes. If there is a way for this pain and sadness to be transformed into beauty and joy, sign me up.
• "Behold, they will crucify him; and after he is laid in a sepulchre for the space of three days he shall rise from the dead, with healing in his wings; and all those who shall believe on his same shall be saved in the kingdom of God." 2 Nephi 25:13. I included this verse because of how it connects the atonement, the resurrection, and healing. I don't know when I will begin to feel that any healing has occurred, and I am certain that this wound will never fully heal in this life, but I know that Christ is the source of the healing that will eventually come.
• St. John 20:1-18. These are the verses of Mary Magdalene weeping at the Lord's tomb and then seeing the risen Lord. I put these verses down because I have a completely new understanding of what Mary might have been feeling while sitting next to the tomb of someone she cared so deeply about. I can only imagine her wonder and joy and seeing the resurrected Lord. I envy her for only having to wait three days.
• "Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen they tears: behold, I will heal thee . . . ." 2 Kings 20:5.

SUPPORT GROUPS

What support groups are near you?

I am still trying to discover support groups. If you know of one, please respond to this post. Please include the area where the group meets and how it can be contacted. Thank you for contributing.

• Caring Connections: A Hope and Comfort in Grief Program. This program is run by the University of Utah College of Nursing. The program runs continually, and each session is 8 weeks long. The cost is $50, which includes a class guide. The people who sign up for the program are divided into different groups according to their ages. For example, a parent and child would arrive together, but spend the time in different groups. I found the program helpful overall, although some class discussions and activities were not helpful to me personally. There are meeting locations in Salt Lake City, Midvale, and Orem. The program's website is http://www.nurs.utah.edu/caringconnections/groups/guidelines.htm
• Salt Lake. It looks like there is a group of LDS widows and widowers that meets twice a year in April and October to socialize. The meetings are around Salt Lake. I discovered this on the "Events" link of the following website: http://www.ldswidows.com/ There is also a "LDS Widows and Widowers" group on Facebook.
• Ogden, Utah. There is a group of young LDS widows and widowers that meets regularly in Ogden, Utah. An article about this group is at http://www.standard.net/live/news/128521
• National. There is a national online support group for young widows and widowers at www.youngwidow.org. On the site, you can join message boards for people at different stages of bereavement. You will sometimes encounter rough language. Sometimes I go to this site just to see that I am not alone in this terrible pain.
• The Sharing Place. This is a center in Sugarhouse, Utah, that assists grieving children and teens (in case you are a parent). I have heard really good things about it, although I don't know many details. Their phone number is (801) 466-6730.
• Salt Lake. If you are interested in forming a group to meet regularly in Salt Lake, please respond to this post. I would especially like to find anyone with young kids interested in a forming a play group. Thanks.
• National. www.sslf.org